Mmmmmm what a week….
Here’s the rub: when you’re a gay preacher/minister, you get a few different types of reactions. Hopefully it’s more of the “oh … cool!” from the people that we feel most called to minister to.
Then there’s the “you’re going to Burn in HELL!” crowd who just plain get boring after a while because their noise is just the same old noise and nothing new. Same old chapter and verse. Same old closed minds that were checked with their coats at the church door (if they even ever step inside.)
Then you have the silent ones – don’t bother me and I won’t bother you. Lord, bless ‘em! They’ve become enlightned enough to realize that our spirituality, our personal relationship with the great endless universe beyond our skin is personal, and no need to jam it down somebody’s throat, so long as those somebody-types leave their throats alone.
Then… like this week… there’s the passive agressive ones.
Smile to your face, nod as they walk by, and then … ugh.
I woke up Saturday morning to take the dogs (“the kids”) out for their morning walk in the woods, and there, some of my “neighbors” sic had left a pile of poop in a paper napkin on my front stoop.
Ugh.
I had a moment that would have been, a year ago, just an absolute explosion of emotions. Now, my response to Bill was “I just don’t even know how to respond.” The more I didn’t respond, though, the more quiet my mood became until I found myself being visited by what Winston Churchill described as “The Black Dog.”
This is supposed to be the Happy week because I do my 4th and last chemo infusion for this 6 months, and I’m free from anything dealing with Oncology (barring emergencies) until the end of July.
And just hours after that, Bill and I run to the lawyers’ offices to sign the ReFinance on our mortgage to move from ARM to 30-year fixed. Do two guys get more “stable” in a relationship than a every 6-months re-examination to fixed in place for 30 years??
So…After re-examining other things going on – figuring out how to keep up with a crazy schedule, keep live on track, stay healthy, keep being a hottie (well – everything is relative!) and try not to say ugly things to my neighbors sic, it’s been a busy week for prayer.
And today I offer you (again) something beyond the quiet-contemplative moments in your prayer closet, because THIS week, I had to get out in Torg (the Killer Volvo from Outer Space), drop the top and drive fast and listen to Metallica music. Me and God needed a few minutes to flick our repsective Bic lighters, wave them over our heads, listen to guitar rock and just let the prayers and the praises fly!
I found this song in my “Writing Music” playlist on my iPod this morning, and remembered that we are to speak to and with God with ALL our voices – even when we need to fling our hair, wave our heads and just let the music SCREAM for us.
Better Metallica than us, I suppose.
Besides, I no longer have the long hair to do good Air Guitar, but listening to this with the top down, driving at 65 on the highway was FUN… and cathartic.
So here for your meditation on the days you need to meditate and pray VERY loudly, and you and God need to kick some sand on the beach of Man’s Inhumanity to Man… here’s my contribution.
Metallica: Turn the Page
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